Day 8/365 There Are Gnomes At the Bottom of My Garden

I'm in the middle of an email discussion about a book I'm selling -Gnomes - by a Dutch illustrator Poortvielt. The question at the moment is whether or not it is a first edition, and we are both becoming convinced we have no idea, and neither does anyone else.

But more importantly is the book itself, which is an incredible lavishly illustrated study of the secret lives of Gnomes: their homes, customs and
traditions.

I realize some of you are very deeply fixed with the belief that gnomes do not exist (there are many gnomes who insist the same is true of you), but for several years I have been lucky enough to harbor several gnomes in my gardens. I assume for whatever reason they did not find the Weasley's garden satisfactory, and chose to emigrate to my Muggle world.

If you look very very closely, there are two tiny gnomes in the photo below. Yes, there are. DO NOT STARE DIRECTLY AT THE GNOMES!
It is considered impossibly rude and ill-mannered and may be the reason they refuse to acknowledge our existence.

This is one of the more easily accessible gnome residences: a castle, with the drawbridge down. Unusual, because gnomes are not particularily hospitable. Almost hidden below the castle is a gnome limo -the illustrious Eastern box turtle.


This photo got me in trouble - much like the Amish, gnomes do not care for being photographed. Also, they do not use orange triangles on their turtles.

However, this gentleman was looking for hats, and I had knowledge of a source - the photo of which appears below. In exchange, he allowed me to photograph him, only complaining a half hour or so.

The perfect gnome hat: wide-brimmed, with a fashionable swirl and twisted peak, comes in a variety of colors.

Meanwhile, gnomes have been spotted in other gardens - this photo was taken in my friend Deborah's woods just the other day.

Look around you, just out of the corner of your eye (remember never to stare directly), and be patient. They may agree to show themselves. Although they will probably never, ever, agree that you exist.